


Twisted Tales- Steve Rogers x Mulan

by Swanky_Batman



Series: Twisted Tales Mulan [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Disney - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Violence, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 14:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15390465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanky_Batman/pseuds/Swanky_Batman
Summary: When the reader goes about collecting information about the war, she soon finds out that the war is closer at hand than expected.





	1. There's War Coming

You woke up and stretched, seeing a light forming outside of your window. You got up and dressed, greeting your parents and grandfather downstairs before going for your morning run. 

Normally, girls near your home hadn’t been doing these kinds of activities- but your parents owned a plot of land further into the country. They all agreed you weren’t really hurting anyone and it was good to keep outdoors.

After getting back, you stretched and washed up before breakfast. You drove into town and started your work as an assistant- a fairly high job in your town since you weren’t only a secretary. Your boss enjoyed your fresh intakes on work at articles from the local newspaper- he didn’t give you credit to most of your work and you knew he couldn’t without backlash. You were hoping that one day you could fix that but now you were content.

You sighed as your boss also seemed to make an advance on you- it was only a sentence asking about your parents and when they were going to let you get married. You ignored him, which was a slight- but you moved on and brought up the papers of notes you had on impending war on the fronts of several countries. Your heart broke for the people involved, and you wanted to get as much research done as you could.

You had started trying to make long distance contacts by writing them letters and calling people from around the area to reach even more. Your boss kept telling you that the war wasn’t too much of a worry.

Your routine kept similar for the next months, moving well into 1940. After the second half of the year, hearing the stories of wartime had made your stomach churn a little. You had received correspondence from just a few people- countries around the world were all looking at the United States to jump in. The people who did respond wanted you to see the worst parts of the war so you could try to influence more people to ask questions.

You had already seen a lot of blood, making you uneasy most of the time but when you opened the mailbox on your way home the one evening- your stomach had left your body. There was a notice labeled important and from the U.S. government. 

Your vision blurred- were they calling your father into service? They couldn’t- you shoved that letter into your bag without thinking and went inside, trying to act normal. You went to your room stating you were going to try to work more and your mother tsked. She was upset at your current choices of work and she was becoming less quiet about it.

You moved into your room and for the first time since you were young- you pulled a chair up to the door. You slid down the wall on the other side of the room and next to your light- shakily took out the letter.

You tried to open the top of it cautiously, in case you had to hide the opening. Your suspicions were confirmed when a form, a letter and a card popped out- you cautiously read the letter, very aware that you were breaking the law at the moment not to mention your father’s privacy.

Pushing those thoughts out of your mind, you read through. It asked him to report to training not a month away. Your heart beat raced as you continued for the instructions, and your mind raced. How could you stop this? Your country deserved people, but your father had health problems and was slow to react. He did his best to hide these facts, but you couldn’t stop thinking about him being killed. You shut your eyes, tears blinding you.

He would not go. You couldn’t take it.

You didn’t sleep that night, instead- you studied the small card in your hands. When had he taken this picture? Had he already been to a physical? You noticed all of the marks on it. You had noticed some of the similarities of yourself in your father, although you had a much leaner frame. You had a month, what could you do?

You shut your eyes for a moment and breathed, deeply. You would go. You would take his place. All you had to do was change the ID. You could change the ID and change your appearance. At least enough to pass, right? It would work, it would have to work.

The next morning you went to work and fed your boss a couple of stories from the day previous before going to your desk and starting your list of things to do.

You tried thinking about recreating the entire card, but you didn’t have enough resources to create the marks on it. Scrapping that idea, you tried again. You could scrape off the laminate on the photo and the birth date. You definitely couldn’t pass your father’s ripe age of 42, you could barely get people to believe you were actually 20. And you had some similarities but would be laughed out of the office immediately if you tried to pass with his frame.

You did a little research and on papers around the office that had a similar laminate, you practiced scraping it off. Over the next couple of days, you tried scraping off laminate and recovering it with different materials. You also started a routine on your runs- you found a spot along the way and did sit ups, push ups, squats. You needed to build some muscle, and you only had a little time to do it in. You did some research and went to buy hand weights at a store just out of town, stating you were getting them for your boss.

You read about a method of a man eating, bulking up, and trying to turn that bulk to muscle. So you tried to eat more at meals, and loosened your tight dresses a little to leave room. You added the weights training and did more research on how you could look like a man. You had a baby face and waspy hair which was not unattractive as a woman but made it difficult to think of her becoming a man. And how were you going to hide the new hairstyle you’d have to get?

You started immediately wearing a scarf around your head, telling everyone you heard it was a new fashion statement to keep your hair in place. Some of the ladies around town started to do it as well within a couple of days.

You asked your best friend for a favor- to come with you on your walk in the morning. She did, and you told her you couldn’t tell her why but you needed her to hit you in the stomach. She refused over and over and asked if you needed help, and you insisted that you couldn’t tell her but it was something you were working out- you weren’t in trouble or harm. 

She went to hit you in the stomach and you tried to stop her and she did and you asked her again and again- over and over for over an hour and a half you finally got her to try to hit her with some force. You had kept blocking some of it, getting hit a couple of times which you insisted were fine. For the rest of your morning, you tried working on voices tricks to deepen your voice. You didn’t need to sound completely baritone but you had to get these chirps out of your voice.

You were feeling rushed on time, and a week before you were to show up at training- you chopped off your hair. You clipped it as close as you could, leaving just a little on the top. You looked at yourself in the mirror and frowned, wiping off the days makeup. You gasped a little, you did look like a man. Sort of. It was a step in the right direction. You ordered clothes just a little bigger than you, touched up your hair and voice. You got someone a couple towns over the next day to take your picture, and to your surprise they greeted you as a man.

You almost couldn’t hide your glee afterwards, taking the smaller pictures and trying to work on it. You fixed your ID as best you could, just going for it after a deep breathe. You changed the year with a typewriter first from 1898 to 1918 which was your actual birth year. You touched it up a little with a some correction fluid and took your picture and posted it over your father’s, silently apologizing.

You got everything situated and ready and the night before you spent a full dinner with you mom and dad and grandfather.

“Honey, we’ve missed you.” Your mom looked at you in the eyes, “You’ve been working too much on this foolishness.”

You nodded slowly for a moment, “Actually, I was going to ask if you were okay with me going on a holiday? My boss offered to let me escape town for a couple of days.”

“Alone?” Your father exclaimed, “No.”

“No there’s another lady from work going as well- she’s helped me get the facts on these events.” You responded and your mother shivered.

“We’ve never met her?” Your mother asked.  
You shook your head, thinking for a moment, “I don’t think so. Her name is Annalise Killinger.” Now you were lying to them, to their faces. Your heartbeat quickened, what have you turned into?

“Hmm.” Your mother sat in thought and your father turned to you, “You sure you trust this girl? You’ve been acting differently.”

You nodded, “I’m sure, Papa.” You used his nickname.

He shrugged after a minute, everyone eating in silence, “Maybe it won’t be so bad.”

“Thank you.” You smiled to him, it should put off them reporting you for a little bit.

You all talked for the rest of dinner and you helped your mom clean up the dishes before going to your room. You packed your go bag and your extra change of clothes, changing into your male counterpart and checking yourself in the mirror. You should have grabbed a mustache or something and glued it to you, you still looked slightly feminine. You made your way out of your window after a couple of hours sleep, waking way before anyone would be up. You left a letter on your pillow before climbing out the window and running for a bit. 

\---

What were you thinking? What were you doing?! You felt very sick upon standing in a line with other young people. You gulped, other young men.

“Hey,” A young man nodded towards you and you smiled to him. He was a small framed man with sandy brown hair. “You trying out?”

“Hey,” You answered, clearing your throat trying to deepen your voice, “Actually I’m here for training.”

“Oh,” His face tightened a little.

“You trying out?” You asked.

He nodded, “Yeah I’m trying out again.”

“Again?” And after seeing his face flinch a little, you realized this was a man who wanted to be here. “You have something to prove too, huh?” You gave him a tight smile.

“Looks like we’re both here for reasons.” He seemed to relax a little, sensing your apprehension from the other men.

“I hope things go well for you,” You smiled to him and sensing his nerves, you pulled a charm off your bag strap. “Look, this is what kind of helped me last time.” You looked at it for a moment, “You should take it, maybe it will help you.” You offered it.

“Oh, I couldn’t.” He shook his head.

“Please? I could use the company.” You smiled, taking his hand and dropping it in.

He paused, looking at the charm for a moment and meeting your eyes, “Thank you.” He gave you a genuine smiled before you were both getting called up and inside.

“Reporting for duty.” You offered your ID and Steve started talking to him as well about a physical. The officer, to your surprise, gave a quick glance at your ID before pulling a file from the desk for Steve. There was a throat cleared in behind him and what looked to be a doctor came up.

“Steve Rogers, right?” He asked, looking at him before giving you a quick glance.

“Yes, sir.” Steve turned red.

“Let’s see if we can’t get you in.” The man smiled.

“Good luck.” You mumbled to Steve before getting pushed up the line.

“Hey, thanks.” He smiled, “I’m Steve by the way.”

“Charlie.” You grinned, “I’ll save you a seat, yeah?” You hoped. He seemed to be a nice man and by god you needed to make friends quick enough here.

“Sure.” He looked excited, turning to the room.


	2. We Are Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training proves to be difficult, but at least the reader has her best friend to help her through.

The loneliness kicked in again as you were in the sea of men who had shown up for their training day’s as well. You suddenly felt sick and didn’t know what you were thinking- maybe you could explain to someone this was all a misunderstanding? Your father flashed in front of you face- no. You were staying, you shook your head with your new resolve.

You were handed an empty bag and ushered down a line with people to collect your uniform pieces, pots and pans, equipment, and gun which made you gulp. You were pushed down even further into a truck where you and a group of people would be going towards camp. You were near the end and had been greeted by a few of the men in the same truck with a smile. You nodded and smiled back, and maybe got a little too excited when to your excitement Steve was the last one to hop on your truck.

“Look at you, soldier.” You winked in his direction, making sure to lower your voice.

“Hey!” His eyes greeted, he nodded to everyone in the truck before sitting by you, “I’m really happy I got to see you-” He paused, pulling the charm out of his pocket, “I think it worked.” He chuckled.

“I’m glad!” You chuckled back, and he tried to hand it back to you, “No, please keep it.”

He stopped for a second and turned into his bag, grabbing a plain chain from it, “Well, here. A gift for your first day- from your pal Steve.” He grinned.

You grinned, accepting it after another look and push from him- you put it around your neck immediately. You and him talked on the way towards camp, learning a little more about him.

“What’d you do before this?” He asked.

“I was an assis-” You cleared your throat, “An assistant editor from the local newspaper.” 

His eyes widened a little, “Wow, that’s awesome. I mostly do- did- odd jobs.” He smirked, “I can’t believe I’m finally here.”

“Me either.” You shook your head, your heart still a little unsure and your body still nervous about what was left to come- you felt nice about having someone you knew a little near you.

After arriving at camp, you were pushed into a line where you would find out about your sleeping quarters and storage. You and Steve weren’t in the same building but were next door to him and were excited to know that you would be in training together and as part of the same team you knew would be together a lot of the time and were more than excited about that.

\---

The next morning, bright and early- earlier than even at home- you were all woken up and forced to get ready, more quickly than you would have hoped- and pushed into the mess hall for the fastest breakfast you had ever eaten. You didn’t think this part of the training through. You were supposed to eat like a lady and get ready in the morning- neither of which did it seem were going to be part of your training.

Into stretches and training you went, being inspected by your commanding officer for uniform regulations and holding your gun. Steve’s group was ushered in during breakfast so you both stuck together.   
“Look at them,” Someone nodded towards us and chuckled, “The weakling and the girly one.”

You both decidedly ignored the comment, containing yourselves for the moment.

“It is our first day.” You winked towards him. “Let’s try to let them get a couple good ones in and beat them later.” He grinned and nodded.

“I’m actually really glad I happened to meet you.” He said shyly, “I didn’t think someone closer to my height and weight and build could make it. I’m glad there’s two of us representing for the small guys.”

“Me too.” You smiled and admitted, a little nervous about your blatant lies already. Besides anything pertaining to being a woman, everything else you told him was the absolute truth.

Training pushed you mentally and physically- to start with there were the running, which you had been training for- except now you were carrying your gun which seemed heavier as you ran with it. There was an obstacle course, which included but was not limited to running and jumping and climbing over a wall, sliding and crawling under barbed wire, agility through tires and sliding into place to aim your weapon before shooting it off.

You were terrified of shooting your weapon, and even got in trouble for it the first time which hurt your ego and made you do an extra lap with your gun which you detested. You finally shot it and jolted a little, a spark running through you that filled you with dread, responsibility and power.

After you finished your extra lap you were allowed to join everyone at the mess hall where you met the friendly smile of the battered Steve.

“Man, training is already kicking my ass.” You smirked towards him a little.

“Agreed,” He nodded, he had an extra lap earlier. 

You sat with him over lunch, if that’s the time slot you could call it before moving on to a formation with your squad.

There was jumping jacks and push ups and sit ups and even though you tried to train beforehand it hadn’t prepared you as well as you hoped. You also got into training with hand to hand and taking down your enemies. 

After your shower period- which thankfully you were allowed to keep a t-shirt and shorts on- your reputation felt ruined. Dozens of men, including Steve, had seen your legs up to just above your knees and you scrubbed your face as hard as you could with the water to make it look like you were red from that. 

Then there was the firearms training, where you all shot at targets and learned different ways to increase your hit marks. To your surprise you seemed to be doing well, and your squad and leader noticed it.

After that there was dinner at the mess hall- you had a long day and started to eat as fast as you could and still didn’t finish your food- and then a half hour free period before lights out.

You and Steve decided to talk about books you had both read in that time and leant each other one you brought.

Lights out- and next day it happened all over again, ending with you and Steve reading in the spot you chose the day before.

Over the next couple of weeks, you felt and looked like hell. You and Steve were both getting picked on a fair amount near the beginning but people were getting as worn as you were, so they laid off a little. You made it through though, and one day you were pulled to the side to be asked about sharpshooter training- finding out that Steve had jumped on a grenade in an experiment by some doctor.

“You are a hero.” You smirked to him, punching his chin a little as he smirked back.

You both talked about the doctor and his interest in Steve and your sharpshooter training- both of you excited and scared for the other.

“Hey, Charlie.” Steve said after a minute of silence.

“Yeah, Steve?” 

“Have you ever- had any… luck with women?” He asked slowly.

You gulped a little, “What are you talking about?”

“Well I saw this woman who helps Dr. Zola in some fashion…” He lowered his eyes and you blushed a little for him. He had easily become your best friend- as a male or female. Your heartbeat a little and you pushed that aside.

“Why don’t you talk to her?” Your tone softened a little.

“And say?”

“You talk to me. How is that any different?” You shook your head.

“We’re training together.” He frowned a little, “You’ve been easy to talk to from the start.”

“I’d like to say we would be friends no matter if I was male or female.” You stated quietly.

“Of course, Charlie.” He shook his head, “I didn’t mean that.”

“I know.” You smiled to him. “You should talk to her.”

“Thanks,” He gave you that smile and you knew you were making a terrible mistake. Your heart thumped and you tried to forget your thoughts.

“Of course.” You smiled back, “You’re my best friend.” You bit your lip, looking back down to your new reading material which you borrowed from a bunk mate.

“You’re mine.” You saw him shift a little before going back to his reading. Get over yourself- you’re Charlie not Y/N. Steve couldn’t want you the way you wanted him.

\----

Over more weeks to follow, you had seen Steve less and less. You were pulled from some of the core training to train with a sniper, and Steve was pulled for some testing with Dr. Zola.

The night before Steve was to undergo the process- you weren’t really sure what all was going on, to be honest it was more technical than you had hoped- you sat with him, talking.

“Did-” You cleared your throat, “Did you end up talking to that woman?” You met his eyes afterwards and tried to look hopeful.

He nodded, “I did. You were right she’s just like us.” Your heart thumped loudly.

“Good.” You tried to lose the pained edge in your smile.

“Charlie,” He sat down next to you, “You mean a lot to me, you know. I’ll still be fighting for the small guy after all is done.”

You nodded, a little worried for him on top of everything else, “I need you to come back for me, okay?” You chuckled with a hint of a tear in your eye.

“For you? Sure.” He nodded and you met his eyes. “It’s weird to be this close to someone. I had my best friend Bucky but- I don’t know, you’re just different.”

“Steve,” You reddened, looking down, “Could I tell you anything?”

“Of course,” He rested his hand on your back, “Charlie what is it?”

You shook your head, “I could get in trouble.” You clamped a hand over your mouth.

“So could I for some things.” He chuckled.

“Like go to jail. Be shot.” You met his eyes.

“What have you done?” His eyes turned serious.

“Steve- my name is Y/N. I-” You stuttered, “I’m not male.” You let your voice go back to normal, “My- my father was going to be forced to come here. So I changed myself, I changed- I couldn’t lose him. Please, Steve,” Your eyes filled with tears, “Don’t hate me. Don’t hate me and don’t tell anyone.”

“Lights out!” You heard from a little ways down. You met Steve’s eyes and he searched your face.

“Please, Steve, promise me.” You could feel the fear in your voice.

“Light’s out.” You were caught and were told to go back to your bunk, your wide eyes flying back toward him and he gave the slightest nod, jaw open.


	3. Change is Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After telling Steve her secret, the reader is left to wonder what will happen- as well as worrying about her friends procedure.

You tossed all night, you weren’t able to get any sleep. What was wrong with you? You were finally getting away with this, you were making it through! You ruined it, and you hurt your best friend.

You were called the next morning to wake up- but you hadn’t slept. Breakfast went through and you noticed Steve’s absence. You knew he was getting prepped this morning for the serum but you really needed to see him.

Dr. Erskine came to get you during the morning routine, and you were more than happy to go with him. 

“I’ve heard Steve talk about you a lot during our sessions.” He spoke, “He admires you a lot- you both have some things in common. Maybe you’ll have to get on the list for my serum.” He winked to you.

You chuckled a little, “I’m glad Steve seems to like me- he makes it a lot easier around here for me. I don’t know about that list, though.” You paused a little.

“I know.” He stated.  
Your eyes shot up to him, “What?”

“I know you both are different.” He nodded, “Smaller than the others and whatnot.” He smiled to you, “You guys are on the side of the minority. I’m rooting for you.”

“Thanks… maybe he can talk about the serum.” You smiled back to him. Who knew? Maybe you should keep your options open.

Walking in to the room after the car ride, you suddenly got nervous. Maybe you shouldn’t have come, would he even want to see you?

You met his eyes and his face lit into a smile, coming over to you.

“You’re here!” He exclaimed, pulling you into a hug, “I’m so glad you’re here.” You hugged him back.

“Really?” You asked, softly.

“Of course.” He met your eyes, “Look- we don’t have time to talk right now but I thought about it all last night. You must be going through a lot to be keeping this secret.” He nodded, “And not telling me sooner- as much as a shock as it was- I also get it. I may have lied on my application the first several times to try to get in.” There were people who were ready for him, “Fingers crossed, we’ll talk about this later.” He smirked to you, nodding and walking over to the table.

You were ushered by Dr. Erskine to greet Mr. Stark, who nodded to you.

“Maybe a second candidate for that serum,” Erskine muttered.

“Let’s get through this first one and see how it goes.” Mr. Stark chuckled a little but seemed nervous. 

Then they were ready and you were ushered into the observing room, sitting right next to a beautiful woman. She must be the one Steve was talking about- you had to admit you would be nervous to talk to her too, if you were thinking about asking her out. Which you weren’t.

“Hi there,” You nodded to her with a little smirk.

“Hello!” She greeted, “You must be Charlie, right? Steve has told me so much about you.”

You nodded, “Guilty. I’ve heard about you as well, I’m glad Steve’s finding more people to talk to.”

You quieted down when Steve got strapped down onto the table, Erskine speaking.  
After a minute, Steve was injected with a series of shots. You covered your mouth a little, concerned for him.

Then they brought up the capsule, closing it and turning up a dial.

Your heart beat faster, what was going on? You heard him scream and you ran to the bottom office, “Shut it off!” You heard the words escape your lips.

Erskine nodded towards Stark but then you heard, “No- I can do this.” From the tank. You lowered your head, covering your face. Sparks flew around you, and after a minute of silence- except your heart and breathing, they opened the tank.

Your eyes widened, jaw dropping open a little- There he was! He was alive, thank god. Then your eyes dropped a little and you blushed.

A team of people helped him out, him staggering towards you.

“Steve? How do you feel?” Your voice was soft.

“Tall.” He breathed out.

You broke into a smile, “You look tall.” You grabbed a shirt from someone near you and handed it to him.

A boom went off near you and you ducked your head, Steve hovering over you.

Shots went off and your head turned, Dr. Erskine fell down.

You pulled out your sidearm and shot towards the man running outside, Steve had been leaning over Dr. Erskine- you started to chase the man outside. You looked around and he was coming at you from straight on in a car.

You shot- once, twice- waiting for a moment- there! Steve tackled you out of the way.

“I had him!” You shouted, he stood up, chasing after him.

“Sorry!” He yelled back, running faster. You gasped, he was incredibly fast.

“Are you alright?” The woman came outside with Stark.

“Hows Dr. Erskine?” You wheezed a little, a slight pain in one of your arms.

Stark shook his head, “He- didn’t make it.” He cleared his throat.  
Your face dropped, “How could this happen?”

“Let’s see if we can’t fix your arm up.” Stark remarked after it seemed neither had an answer. You looked at it and saw it was bleeding through your uniform.

“I got it.” You blurted.

“Nonsense.” Stark threw an arm around your neck, pushing you inside and to an office. “You drink?”

“If I didn’t I do now.” You mumbled, heart racing. How to escape, how to escape?

“Pop off your shirt and I’ll fix you a drink.” He smiled a soft smile.

You shook your head, “Really, it’s just a scratch.”

“Come on,” He chuckled, “It’ll help my mind off everything for a moment.”

You breathed for a minute, taking off the outer shirt, leaving you in your tank top with your wrap showing in parts.

He looked over and his face hardened a little, “Oh, uhm…”

“Yeah.” You got out.

He quickly worked on your arm, “Why, err-”

“Why the disguise?” You asked, closing your eyes, telling him a bit of your story.

He brought the bottle over, taking a swig and you asked for a drink.

“So- how long do I have before my secret’s out?” You threw back your drink.

Stark pondered, “Well. You’re going to get found out. That’s for sure.”

You nodded, holding out your empty cup for another drink and he chuckled as he filled it.

“Maybe I could use a couple of resources- pull a couple of strings. Get your father pulled from service…” He pondered.

“And put me in? Can you do that?” You gasped.

“Well, I don’t think I’d have to put you in.” He paused.  
You blinked, you hadn’t thought of that, “I’m training though. I could be of use.”

He tapped his chin, “Stay undercover for a while. Continue your training as usual, and I’ll get someone to come by and get you.” He finished working on your arm, and nodded for you to put your shirt on.

You got up to leave and turned back to him, “Thank you.” 

“For what? You’re the one risking your life for our country. I should be thanking you.” He winked.

Walking out, you ran into Steve. “Oh.” You jumped a little.

His brows furrowed, “What happened?” He looked wet… and was sweating.

“What happened to you?” You asked. “Mr. Stark was just fixing my arm.”

Steve’s eyes widened a little.

“Don’t worry, Steve.” You smiled to him, “Seriously though, what happened to you?” He described the chase and his newfound abilities as you walked back to the transport car.

“That’s insane.” You agreed, “What is going on?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know.” He went to get in with you and a general stopped him.

“Sorry, soldier- we need you here. You have new tasks.” 

You smiled softly to Steve, “See ya later, pal.”

His eyes gazed into yours, “Back at you.” He nodded.

\------

Over the next year, Steve had been used as a spokesperson. You and he had written notes back and forth a little but your squad had moved out, so mail was harder to pinpoint. You were waiting for these strings Stark said would be coming but you realized that maybe he couldn’t follow through- and you weren’t angry. He kept your secret, and that was more than a favor to you.

Steve was coming by to your group to be showed around- apparently one of his last gigs. You smirked as his show went on and met him backstage afterwards.

“Hi there, Cap.” You smirked to him and his attention focused on you he ran over to hug you.  
“How are you?” He asked, looking you over.

“I’m alright.” You wished you hadn’t looked this dirty, tan, and scarred. That you hadn’t killed people, seen your friends and squad killed in front of you and that you hadn’t picked up the nasty habit of smoking.

His eyes looked sad, “I’m sorry it’s taken this long to get back to you.”

“No worries! You’re a busy man.”

“That’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.” Steve started walking and had you follow him.

“Oh, yeah? Need help answering your fanmail?” You teased lightly.

He laughed, “Actually,” He entered a tent and ushered you inside, “I was talking to Y/N, not Charlie.”

Your eyes widened a little, “How-?”

“I’ll talk to you in a minute about that- first…” He met your eyes, “I was wondering if I could enlist Y/N in a top secret group I’m working on? We need you. I need you.”

Your face lightened, “Sign me up.”


	4. Becoming a Woman, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After accepting the job offered to her by Steve, the reader is dreading the reception from her house- which she hasn't been back to for almost two years.

He explained to you when you would be leaving- and that you would be going home for a couple days. You were being hired as a lookout/ sharpshooter mainly and you were nervous- you hadn’t seen your parents or grandfather since you left. 

You were hyper-aware of what they had probably been feeling after figuring out you left. You had thought of it every day since you left, and you know you had changed. You were not the same person that had gone and were worried about how they were going to perceive you.

\-----

“Don’t worry.” Steve smiled to you. “I’ll be close by.” He winked and nudged you and you nudged him back before hopping out of the car.

You turned back, “I can’t do this.” You breathed, your voice returning towards it’s normal tendencies. There was a look of panic in your eyes, almost wildly looking around the house.

He hopped out and walked around, tucking his hat under his arm. He was in uniform with you instead of his ‘costume’. He smirked as he walked towards the door, “Come on, don’t make me meet your parents alone.” His eyebrow twitched a little.

“You’re so cocky.” You chuckled, “I kind of miss the old Steve.”

He laughed, nodding a little before you knocked on the door. It immediately swung open, your mother hugging you and dragging you to the floor. It had been two years since you were home, and you had missed every single second.

You hugged her back, rocking on the floor- your father and grandfather walking up behind her, leaning down to hug you. Your grandfather was the first to speak.

“Of course you bring home a man from the last place we would send you.” He chuckled to himself, nodding towards Steve.

You wiped the tears away from your face, “Guys, this is Steve Rogers. He’s my best friend and now- he’s my commanding officer.”

Your father shook his hand, “Do we have you to thank for keeping our daughter safe?”

Steve shook his head, “No. We were in training together, and has saved me countless times since then.”

“We’ve corresponded with Steve, dear.” Your mother nodded. “He’s been writing us letters for months now to make sure we got an update on you.” She smiled to him, pinching his cheeks, “He’s an amazing young man.”

Steve blushed a little, “It wasn’t anything. I knew Y/N would have problems getting information to all of you without raising some questions- their mail is monitored.” He explained, scratching his neck and meeting your eyes.

Your family insisted that Steve sat down to lunch with them, and you all talked for a long time. Afterwards, you walked towards your room, looking around and smiling a sad smile.

“This is you, huh?” Steve poked his head around in the hall, peeking in. You nodded, getting teary again.

There were dresses and scarves and necklaces and perfume and your favorite gift from your family- your record player.

“God, how different I was.” You wiped another tear rolling down your cheek, finding a picture on your stand and showing Steve. His eyes softened a little and a smile formed on his face.  
“You’re a beautiful woman- then and now.” He raised his eyes, searching your face.

You chuckled, sniffling a bit, “I’m still strong willed. I wanted to help with the war efforts, and I have.” You nodded, looking through your research. It used to look so horrifying- now it was the norm. 

“You have.” He walked over to your record player, walking his fingers through the couple of dozen albums you had. “I’ve always wanted one of these.” He smirked, “How does it work?”

You walked over and showed him how to turn it on and play it, putting on a swing record. He pulled you up and danced a little with you, making you smile. After a minute, your mother asked if you wanted help getting ready for dinner- which Steve had to stay for. You went and took a bath, a longer one than you needed. The non-rush and no worries about your secret made it one of the best things you had for a long time.

“I like him.” She smiled, trying to tame the little bit of hair you had so she could clip parts of it.

You smiled back, “He’s the best.” You nodded, “You should have seen him months ago, when we were training together.”

Your mom started crying a little, “I was so worried about you. I didn’t know what those men were going to do if they had found out your secret.”

You took her hand, “I know. I wanted to contact you all for such a long time.”

She nodded, “I was grateful and worried the day you left. Your father was a fool if he thought he could go, he’s been using a cane for support the last couple months. It’s his back. You’re my daughter- you shouldn’t have had to worry about that.”

“Mom- I did it. It’s over.”

“It’s not over!” She raised her voice a little, “You’re leaving again, god knows if you’ll come back. And now you’re going as a woman. Steve told me all about his mission.”

“Mom.”

She held up her hands, “How much longer?”

You met her eyes, your brows furrowed but your voice was firm, “Until we win.”

She settled down a little after that, trying to understand why her fragile daughter was going back. She got you into a dress and heels and a necklace and even did your make-up insisting you feel like a woman for one more night.  
You both walked out to the table, arm in arm and found Steve talking with your father and grandfather- making them laugh. His eyes came over to you and looked you over.

“Ready for dinner, boys?” Your mother giggled a little, pecking your father on his lips before she walked into the kitchen and you followed her. You helped bring out different dishes and Steve came in asking if he could help bring some plates in, which he insisted your mother didn’t do.

“I guess I’ll go take a seat then.” She wiped her hands on her apron before hanging it up and walking into the other room.

“If you grab the plates and silverware, I’ll grab the casserole.” You met his eyes and he was looking you over again. 

He shook his head, “I’m sorry. You just look different as a woman. It’s hard to believe.” You giggled a little and his face lit up, “Even your voice is different, unguarded. Your family is amazing.” He bit his lip, looking down.

“I’m still the same in every other way. I’m a trained sharpshooter, an avid reader, and your best friend, right?” You smiled to him, “I just have luxuries for a night or two.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath as you passed to bring your casserole out and followed you with the plates and silverware.

The evening was great and everyone got along. You figured now would be a good time to bring out your bag, revealing dozens of unsent letters you had urged yourself not to send.

Your family opened a couple and read them out, Steve blushing and grinning as he was mentioned in every one of them.

“You make sure she writes us now, you hear.” Your mom shook her finger in Steve’s direction, pulling you in for another hug.

“Yes, ma’am.” He chuckled, meeting your eyes.

You all played music and games that night, laughing and dancing with each other. For one night, your worries disappeared, and you had seen Steve relax as well.

They insisted he sleep on the couch for the evening and you brought him a blanket and pillow.

“Today was amazing.” He nodded, “It’s unusual for me to get a home setting- and yours is…” He breathed, his eyes meeting yours, “It’s great.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” You smirked to him, “It seems they like you.” You turned to go to your room, “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

\-----

The next morning, your happy bubble shattered as Steve was called and told of his friend Bucky’s squad going missing. 

“They’re alive, I can feel it.” He put his hand over his face, “I have to go.”

“I’m going with you.” You were in your uniform within a couple of minutes and after breakfast you went to leave.

“Make sure you come back to us.” Your father leaned against you, “Or we’ll never forgive you.” Your grandfather added in and chuckled.

You nodded, “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too honey.” Your mom had tears forming in her eyes, “Oh, Steve- here.” She handed him something and then turned to you and handed you a bag of food.

\------

“What’s the plan?” You asked after getting outside of town. He had been blushing since your mother handed him his ‘present’. 

“We’re going to fly in behind enemy lines. Agent Carter and Howard Stark are going to be operations on this, we’ll be ground units. This is not going to be an easy or even short mission.” He turned to you.

“It never is.” You nodded to him, ready to begin the mission.

The trip to the flight was not that long, and you greeted them both at the plane.

“You’re-” Agent Carter started, gasping a little.

You scratched the back of your head, “Yes ma’am.”

“But you’re-”

“We’ll have time on the flight to explain.” Steve pushed you onto the plane as Howard winked to you, nodding.

\---

Peggy agreed to keep quiet on it, and Howard agreed as well- even though you were not worried about him.

You had your uniform but you no longer bound your chest and you didn’t change your voice or mannerisms. It was a weird feeling to be back as a woman.

You landed soon, and you were going in with Steve so you had your service rifle and you normal get up.

“Go get ‘em.” Howard winked to you once more, staying over by Peggy.

\----

You had gone through quite a bit of ground, covering a lot of places behind the lines, just the two of you. You came upon a building that had soldiers surrounding it. 

After a little sneaking, the fight had started. You made your way inside and found a ton of people captured and in cages. These were soldiers- it made you sick. You and Steve immediately went through and released everyone, them letting you both know that Bucky had been taken a while ago and they hadn’t seen him.

You both went further in, you getting scraped by a bullet- you both found Bucky in a room. He looked like he had been tortured pretty bad. Steve begged you to take him and get him out- he was going further into the compound.

“Steve-” You yelled back to him, “Please don’t die.” You smiled to him and he nodded back.

“Anything for you.” He chuckled back as I dragged Bucky towards the exit. He was trying to help me bring him out, bearing some of his weight. You had one incident where you were shot at and you shot him back, continuing outside.

“Will you guys watch him?” You asked, setting him down by them, “I’m going back inside for Steve.”

They nodded, cocking the guns they had found on their way out, “We’ll wait here and cover the exit for you guys.”

“Thanks.” You nodded, running back in.  
You found Steve in the middle of a battle- and gasped at the person’s face. He was nothing but a skull- a red skull. He had been attacking Steve and Steve attacked him back- you shot near the other, trying to get a clear shot in. The man backed away, throwing a bottle of fire behind him towards you. He got further into the base and you assumed he had escaped when Steve came back a couple minutes later, looking angry.

“You alright?” You called to him as he walked towards you.

“I’d be better if I knew he wasn’t going to hurt anyone ever again.” He frowned.

“I would still call today as a win.” You pulled some documents out of your bag and his face lit up a little.

“Nice job.” He smirked, walking out with you.

Bucky was sitting around next to some of the other’s and his bruised face smiled at you both.

“Hi there, doll.” He winked to you, “I think I owe you a favor for saving my hide.”

“Ignore him,” Steve smirked to you, “He’s a ladies man.”


	5. The Big Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More missions help the reader adjust to her new group- and even a night away from worrying leading into another mission.

You got yourself a good team to be on. Steve was the leader and he made all the calls and the roles for the team. You were going to take out all of the Hydra bases you could find.

Stark got Steve outfitted with a uniform and a shield- everything star spangled. He got you a dark jacket that helped with the bullets, as well as hid you a little better as you were the eyes higher up. They got you equipment that regular recruits weren’t using, including walkie talkies- except these didn’t need two people, they were a lot smaller- a concept worked on by Stark himself.

Bucky, after he got healed up, joined you on the missions as well.

“Fancy meeting you like this, doll.” Bucky winked as you and Steve swung by to pick him up. He hopped in the back with his equipment, “Your hair is getting longer, too.” 

While true it had been a little over a month since your last shear, it made you blush to be receiving so much attention.

“Buck, knock it off, she’s not interested in a philanthropist like you.” Steve chuckled, smirking towards you.

“I do like boys in the service.” You chuckled, “Maybe not so- experienced though.” You teased, looking out of the car, breathing in the fresh air. 

He laughed from the back seat and Steve joined in adding, “Or crawling with viruses and whatnots.”

“Hey, I get checked out on a regular basis, I’ll have you know. And I get doctor appointments, too.” He chuckled.

You made it back where the team was waiting for you- your team. You smiled, seeing the men put together and after seeing you in action would credit you in an instant. You couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

After several Hydra takedowns, and a close call for yourself (involving a sharpshooter shootout, which you won even though you got brushed with a bullet), you found a plan where Zola was supposed to be. You got everyone situated and figured out a plan of attack, since it was going to be a moving target.

The night before, you all allowed yourselves to go to a local tavern like civilians. 

You all wore your uniforms and were recognized as a squad.

“We’re actually just her bodyguards, doll.” Bucky winked to the bartender, who just so happened to be female.

“As long as bodyguards can pay.” She nodded, going to the counter.

Steve smirked, shaking his head, “Smooth move, pal.” Everyone on the team laughed.

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you show me those jiffy actions of yours, friend?” Bucky challenged, taking a sip of his beer with a smirk.

“She’s not really my type.” Steve blushed a little, lowering his head.

“Oh, come on- for educational purposes.” Bucky insisted, Steve playing with the tab on his bottle.

“I’ll show you how it’s done.” You volunteered, standing up and walking to the bar- a low whistle coming from one of the men. “Hi there- I’m sorry about my friend.” You pointed towards Bucky, “He comes off a little piggish but I assure you he isn’t.” You smiled, “Either way, you don’t have to take my word for it.” You nodded, giving her a slight smile.

She smiled back, “Thank you.” She looked up when after another minute you hadn’t left, “Is there something I can get for you?”

“Actually,” You pulled up a seat to the bar, “This is going to sound boring.” You blushed a little, “I was wondering what is going on outside of this war…”

She leaned against the counter, “What like news?”

“Anything! My team over there doesn’t really care about news, clothing, the latest ins.” You felt girly, but it was nice to talk of something other than the games people were missing and the war. You both talked for about ten minutes, going through her local gossip that you asked for. What could it hurt, you weren’t from here. “Thanks for this.” You gave her a genuine smile and she offered you a beer, on the house, “Thank you very much.”

Her cheeks grew red, “You promise he’s not a jerk?” She nodded a little towards the table, “He isn’t. He just doesn’t have a great first impression.” You smirked.

You walked back over to the table and sat down, the men all turning their attention to you.

“So?” They asked, “Did you close the deal?” They winked amongst themselves.

You shrugged, taking a sip of beer before she walked over, asking to talk to Bucky alone.

“Best- wingwoman- ever.” They chuckled, nudging themselves. “We are hanging out once this is all said and done.” There was a cheer around the table and they raised their glasses towards you before going back to their talks.

“That was awfully kind of you.” Steve smirked, taking a swig of his own drink.

You chuckled, “I actually was just talking to her for a minute- Bucky was a bonus.” You winked.

“So you’re pretty good with the ladies, eh?” He chuckled back.

“I am very good at talking to women.” You smirked, “Although I should admit I’ve gotten out of touch.”

“Seems alright to me.” 

You shrugged, “There are a lot of things I’m missing from home. Fashion, my job- which includes researching the news and topics, my family…” You nodded, “My record player.” You giggled, “Not really in that order.”

He chuckled back, holding up a finger, going to get another drink.  
After a minute, he came back and smirked to you- standing over you. There was music starting in the background.

Your jaw dropped open a little, “You can help Bucky, this is the least I can do.” He winked, offering a hand out, putting his beer on the table. “May I?”

The men turned and smirked, whistling. “Of course, kind sir.” You took his hand, jumping out of your seat to do a slight curtsy. He led you towards a corner that didn’t really have any tables in the way.

You blushed a little, slowly moving with him.

“This is nice.” He smirked, “I’m usually not dancing, nor am I the one to ask.”

“That’s a shame.” You smiled, meeting his eyes, “You’re pretty good at it.”

He chuckled, blushing himself. There was a minute of silence, just the two of you moving together.

“This is much easier to do in pants.” You giggled, making him laugh.

“I’m sure it is.” He agreed, looking down, “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I’m a little worried about our mission. Something in my gut tells me to fear tomorrow.” He furrowed his brows a little.

“Hey,” You squeezed his hand a little, “We’re as prepared as we’re going to be- as we can get.” You shook your head.

“I just- I’m scared of losing you.” He blushed, “And the team.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve come to care for everyone. Especially you- you’re my best friend.” He gave a smile, spinning you around.

“You’re mine.” You smiled back to him, “What we’re doing is incredible- we’re stopping the worst organization I’ve ever laid eyes on. And just because you’re super doesn’t make you invincible.”

He paused, going over what you were saying in his head, he knew it already. There was nothing anyone could do given the notice to make it better. “Promise me you’ll stay as safe as possible.”

“Only if you make the same.” You grinned to him.

He nodded, meeting your gaze again, “You are amazing, you know that?”

“Same to you.” You grinned, twirling with him.

“Cap, you’re kind of dominating this ladies time. Her dance card is more than full.” Bucky grinned, dancing with the bartender and nodding towards the boys.

“One more dance and then I’ll let someone else come over.” He chuckled, asking for an upbeat tune. You twisted around and hopped your way with him, spinning. The boys were hooting on the sidelines and you both had a blast. After several dances, at least one with each, you found Steve outside.

“You ready to head back?” You tilted your head, heat from dancing and beer in your cheeks- a happy and almost carefree grin on your face. He grinned, offering you his arm ‘just for tonight’ he promised.

Walking back towards your camp, you talked with him all the way back to your tent.

“You know, you’re an amazing man Steve.” You patted him on the cheek, “Thanks for one hell of a night.” You tip toed to kiss his cheek and he turned his face at the last second, his lips brushing yours.

“Same, Y/N.” He whispered, turning and walking to his tent- the blush on your cheeks explicitly from him.

\----

The next day, you had everyone get set up- Bucky throwing an arm around your shoulder and thanking you for the help with the bartender, which you insisted was not your point.

“Alrighty, boys- looks like I’m heading out.” You nodded to them all, going to look for Steve. You found him with a book you lent him in his tent. “Hey, boss, I’m off in a minute.” Your cheeks were red but your tone was friendly.

“Okay.” His head had snapped up when you entered, the book closing.

“You near the end? You’re about to hit my favorite part.” You smirked, walking a step closer.

“About last night…” He started and you shook your head.

“If you’re about to utter an apology, Steve Rogers, I don’t want to hear it.” You grinned, “I had an amazing last night, with everything.” The blush on his cheeks grew deeper, “And I’m glad that your kiss is going to be my good luck charm today.” You winked, “Finish the book!”  
“It’s really good.” He offered, holding it up, “Even though I still think the overall premise is feminine, the author has an amazing way of describing characters.”

“Ya know, if you like it that much- keep it! I can get another copy fairly easy.” You smirked at him one last time before you heard a beep from outside, “That’s me. See you around, Rogers.” You turned to walk outside.

“Hey,” He jumped up, grabbing something off his desk, “I heard you lost yours.” He handed you a compass, engraved to him. “Take mine- you need it. And don’t forget to keep in contact.”

“Yes sir.” You winked before walking out of the tent.

You set up your walkie next to you in the spot you drove to- the spot that was set up for you. It was right above a bridge and the train was supposed to be coming through minutes after they got on it.

You opened up the compass, your finger running over the Steve Rogers engraved on the back. The chain was long enough to stay on your neck and be used.

You took a breathe, waiting for the train to be coming around.

“Team, are you set up? Over.” You walkied. You waited a minute before asking again. You shook it, unsure of what was going on- you hadn’t had this issue before.

You heard the train approaching. You would use your eyes but you couldn’t call shots down to anyone. You scoped in, seeing one figure on the roof, moving forward slowly. Your breathing calmed, you spotted nothing wrong so far. 

You saw a figure come out towards the roof of the train, pinning down your man.

You breathed, waiting for the right moment and let it go. Five full seconds passed before it hit him near the neck, knocking him off the train. He threw a thumbs up, giving the all clear. You saw an explosion on the train and dodged just as a boot came down for your head.

They had sent people for you this time, Hydra learning all they could about the team. There was one person on you, a car full of people coming up the slope. You drew your pistol, getting it smacked away.

The man grinned and chuckled, trying to kick you. You struggled with him, getting shot at from the car. 

In one moment, you lost your footing. It felt like slow motion, your body flying backwards in the air. The sky wasn’t changing, your heartbeat loud but even- this was calm. True calm. Your thoughts flashed over to Steve on his mission and you hoped he succeeded- it was what you had been working for. You hadn’t even felt pain, you slipped into unconsciousness.

\--------------  
\--------------

You had dreams about your family and Steve- you weren’t sure why you had dreams at all. Was this what it was to die?

Your eyes tried to flicker open, you couldn’t feel anything.

“What luck, we found two of Captain America’s band of merry men.” You heard muttering.

Steve? Two? You tried to stay awake and listen in but you faded back into a dream. Or maybe that was a dream, you weren’t sure what was going on.

“...her condition is different than the man’s. She hit her head more than anything…”

Another fade in and out. What was going on, why couldn’t you grip anything?

“She is not improving. We have to try treatment before the training can proceed.”

Treatment? Training? You didn’t feel like you were in a hospital.

This blackout period did not seem to end. You felt a slight discomfort through a period of time before everything was blank. Nothingness.

The blank page started to hurt, your brain sending you all it could muster of pain and trying to move itself. You urged yourself to do something, you hated not knowing what was happening.

You felt awake mentally for a while but still couldn’t move. Were you in hell?

There was a numbness about you and then pins and needles rushing over your body. They weren’t leaving. You felt a softness graze your cheek and your eyes finally moved- you willed yourself to open them.

It took a very long time for you to see anything in this dark room- but your eyes weren’t adjusting right. You couldn’t have survived that fall, you were in store for your judgement.

Minutes passed and your constant blinking and moving of your eyes focused a little in the room.

You noticed a woman in the corner. Your jaw was locked and you moved it a little, trying to talk.

She hadn’t noticed you right away, she was looking at something in her hand- a flashlight? What was that? It lit up her face…

“Help.” You got out and her head bolted towards you, her standing immediately and rushing to your side. She pushed on her flashlight, putting it to her ear.

“She’s awake.” She muttered, her eyes wide and she was shaking a little. “Don’t worry, take it easy.” She put down the flashlight on the chair and you jumped looking over as far as you could seeing a device of sorts next to you- hooked up to you.

You struggled as hard as you could, trying to get away, “What-?” You shouted with all your might but it came out as a wimper.

She came over to hold you down, a figure bursting through the door.

You stopped moving, looking at it with shock. “Steve?”


End file.
